I wake up, from a fretful sleep. It is a wet, windy and depressing morning. I settle down in the bed as usual and start writing. For the next two hours, it is just me and my words. My husband is not allowed to interrupt me. He gets ready and leaves for work.
I sit in the folds of doona – laptop notebooks, and books scattered around me – I am in heaven. Today is 27 July. I am feeling nostalgic and make a deliberate trip to memory lane. Two years ago, on this day, I was miserable. I had no clue where my life was going. Although I was in a well-paying job earning a high six-figure income, I wasn’t happy. Something was missing. I didn’t know what it was.
On a whim, at lunchtime, I bought a domain under my real name. I had been writing for some time but didn’t publish anything. I was too scared to put my name on what I wrote and severely doubted my ability to become a writer. Yet that is all I wanted to be. I thought blogging would ease me into a writing career. I had started a couple of blogs before, but they didn’t last long. My self-doubt and lack-of-time to devote to my passion were tearing me apart.
The same evening, as usual, I visited my father in the nursing home. He was a bit unwell. His infection was back. He should have been put on antibiotics, which my brother had bought and left with the staff since morning, but they hadn’t started the medication due to a discrepancy in paperwork. As my brother and I were still sorting that, he took his last breath. One minute he was there, next he was gone. Forever.
A few days later, when the shock of his departure subsided, I wrote my first post Why I started this blog. It was more of a tribute to him. Writing it comforted me more than anything else. I couldn’t express everything I was feeling but I felt I had finally found a place to express myself.
My own words comforted me then. Even after two years, they are still able to comfort me. For some reason, writing seems to be the right way to remember my father.
This blog started on the same day my father passed away. In a strange way, they both got connected. As if he had reincarnated in the form of a blog. In my eulogy, I wrote that my father had big hands, the kind of hands a father should have. It feels like he has put his hand over me through this blog. Could something technical and virtual be someone’s solace?
This blog is the place where I could be myself. This is where I pour my heart, talk about my fears, share my lessons, and inspire others. This blog taught me a lot, not only about writing but life itself. Last year, on this day, I wrote an article listing 10 learning from the first year of blogging to mark the day.
This year I have created a book of inspirations – 31 Tips to Unleash Your Creativity. It holds the words that inspired me and kept me going through this journey. Click the link and download it.
I want to take this opportunity to thank you, my dear readers. You stood by me all this time and witnessed my progress from an unsure scribbler to someone who is living the life she wants to live. I will continue to write for you and for myself, sharing my learnings and solving the mysteries of life.
Thank you for your support. I love you all.