I stood in the middle of my living room and looked around me. The benchtop was full of dishes to be put away. The empty shopping bags from yesterday were still lying around. The placemats were still at the meals table, needing a wipe since dinner last night.
The washing basket was waiting patiently for my attention.
The center table was cluttered with newspapers, books, notebooks, and laptop. The kitchen cupboards were bursting, and the fridge needed a good clean. The same was the story with every other room in the house.
I sank in a chair with despair.
How did that happen?
I am a crowned “Neat Queen,” when did I let disorder creep into my home?
There was a time, even when I was working full time, my house was tidy and spotless. I spent hours putting things in their place and wiping clean every surface multiple times. Even no one was home during the day, I still kept it tidy as if people were coming for dinner.
I would start cleaning as soon as I woke up each Saturday morning and didn’t rest until I was done. Cleaning was the highlight of my weekends.
But then quit the job and started work working from home. I didn’t have to spend weekends cleaning because I could do it at any time. Right?
Wrong.
Being at home meant I had no designated time to clean.
It also meant that I saw the mess all the time and stopped noticing it after a while. But my subconscious kept seeing it and got irritated by it.
The outer disorder had started to creep in.
I had allowed the outer disorder to creep in my house.
2020 had been a tumultuous year. Everything that could go wrong went wrong. Except for the first two months, the whole year, we all dealt with the bad news. Our coping mechanism to bad news is, lie low. Let it pass. That is exactly what I did.
Couple that with a long winter in Australia, I just hibernated. Most of the days, I stayed in my pajamas all day. I cooked when I absolutely had to and cleaned when I had no choice. As a result, the disorder piled up.
Research shows clutter affects our anxiety levels, sleep, and ability to focus.
It impacts coping and avoidance strategies and makes us less productive.
We might think that we are not noticing the bursting cupboards and piles of paper stacked around the house, but research shows disorganization and clutter have a cumulative effect on our brains.
Our brains like order. Constant visual reminders of disorganization drain our cognitive resources, reducing our ability to focus.
The visual distraction of clutter increases cognitive overload and can reduce our working memory.
In 2011, neuroscience researchers using fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) and other physiological measurements found clearing clutter from home and work environment resulted in a better ability to focus and process information and increased productivity.
Outer order leads to inner calm.
I perhaps needed that reminder when I picked up Gretchen Rubin’s book Outer Order Inner Calm from the public library.
Outer order make us feel good. It gives us a sense of spaciousness, positivity, and creative energy.
Organized surroundings make us feel in control. It gives the sense we have conquered the chaos not only in our surroundings but also in our lives. It makes us feel less guilty, less irritated, and less resentful towards others.
When I am surrounded by mess, I feel restless and unsettled. When I clean up that mess, I’m always surprised by the disproportionate energy and cheer I gain.
– Gretchen Rubin
Outer order help us keep an atmosphere of clarity. We are able to keep our attention focused.
There is another more mysterious reason that outer order contributes to inner calm.
The association between outer calm and inner calm runs deep.
It is true that “I am not my possessions,” but “my possessions are mine.” They somehow define me and make me complete.
Ever thought of the question — if you are to go to an island for six months and can only take five things with you, what will you take?
I find it very hard to limit myself to five things. Whenever I pack for holidays, however small, I take several things that I may or may not use but having them with me gives me a sense of security.
We extend ourselves into the things around us. They become our cocoons, the comfortable space to be in. We carry them with us everywhere we go, just as a snail carries its shell with it.
With our possessions, we leave a mark on the world. And whether that mark is grand or modest, whether this mark is made with possessions many or few, we want to create an environment that truly suits us. — Gretchen Rubin.
The irony is that just like outer order contributes to inner calm, inner calm contributes to outer order.
When we are calm, in control, and focused, keeping our surroundings in good order is easier.
Whenever we are struggling, chaotic, and overwhelmed, we let our surroundings go disorderly.
“Order is Heaven’s first law.” — Alexander Pope
We cherish our possessions, but we also want to feel free of them.
I want to keep every object with a memory associated with it, but I also want plenty of space in my house.
Decluttering is not easy.
Clearing clutter is exhausting because it requires us to make choices, and making choices is hard. It takes emotional energy.
Often we need to choose, which leads to confronting why we have accumulated in the first place.
For some people owning a minimal amount of possessions make them feel free and happier. But it is not true for everyone. I am one of them.
But decluttering makes everyone happy. Rather than striving for minimal possessions, it is helpful to think about getting rid of superfluous.
How to start to bring order to our surroundings.
As I get older, I am finding decluttering overwhelming.
It takes a lot of physical energy, time, taxing decision-making, and is emotionally draining.
It helps to have someone to help.
By getting rid of the thing I don’t use, don’t need, or don’t love, as well as the things that don’t work, don’t fit, or don’t suit, I free my mind — and my shelves — for what I truly value.
Having someone to help me make decisions and deal with the grunt work of sorting, moving, packing and tossing make the task bearable.
Doing it a little by little.
I start with little things, perhaps a little area. I clean my desk and organize my papers before starting a new project. If I am having guests over, I start with cleaning the pantry and fridge before cooking.
I do several “five-minute-sprint-cleaning” during the day where I tidy up while having a break from writing. These few minutes each day are paramount to impose some order in my surroundings.
I have found once I start, it is easier to keep going. December is my big decluttering month when I sort and discard unwanted items either by category (Marie Kondo’s way) or by area.
Oh! Old rubbish! Old letters, old clothes, old objects that one does not want to throw away. How well nature has understood that every year, she must change her leaves, her flowers, her fruit, and her vegetables, and make manure out of the mementos of her year! — Jules Renard
Hiring a regular cleaner.
For some reason, having a regular cleaner is a stigma in western society. It leads to false beliefs and social judgments such as “she is lazy,” “she has money to burn,” “she doesn’t love her home to spend time cleaning it.”
I have worked on my mindset regarding hiring a cleaner.
Rather than thinking that I am wasting money, I think I am helping someone earn a living.
Rather than thinking that I don’t love my home to spend time cleaning it, I have started thinking I value my hobbies and interests to make time for them.
Rather than thinking, I am lazy, I think I deserve time to unwind and relax, and outsourcing cleaning is one way to get that.
I only have a finite amount of energy, which I can use to do the things I “have to do” or do the things I “want to do.” Cleaning is no longer in the “have to do” category. I am now calling my cleaner, a charming hardworking lady, more often.
My decluttering strategy.
As I have moved to the second half of my life, I am reducing the number of things I own. I didn’t add to clutter in the house this year — I didn’t buy any clothes, nor did I buy any toiletries. I am on a mission to use the existing ones.
I am following the “half the stuff” principle — half the number of clothes, half the number of books, half the number of decoration pieces, half the number of email subscriptions…
By getting rid of the thing I don’t use, don’t need, or don’t love, as well as the things that don’t work, don’t fit, or don’t suit, I free my mind — and my shelves — for what I truly value.
By managing my possessions, I have learned that I have improved my stress level, physical health, intellectual vigor, and even my relationships. I now have more time for others and to pursue my interests.
In Summary — My Top Ten Tips For Creating Outer Order
- When feeling down, start cleaning.
- Don’t put things down; put them away.
- Don’t buy anything that you are not going to use straight away.
- Follow the “five-minute-rule,” anything you can clean in five minutes, clean it. Do it as a break from writing or whatever your core activity is.
- Assign each day its own tasks. Mine is Monday kitchen, Tuesday bathrooms; Wednesday bedrooms; Thursday living area; Friday outdoor; Saturday washing; Sunday Ironing.
- Make cleaning a fun or learningexperience. Listen to a podcast or put on a YouTube video while cleaning.
- Have a clean surface in every room. An empty shelf, or a desk, or even an empty bedside table gives the feeling of luxury of space. In this age of excess, emptiness has its own beauty.
- Move the things I can’t bring myself to throw away into the garage first and then into the car’s boot (trunk) to donate. This sequential parting makes it easy to let go.
- Digital clutter is equally stressful. Clear away all the visual clutter for your smartphone. Regularly delete the apps you don’t use. I keep only the essential apps on the first screen and move the rest to the subsequent screens. All my writing and reading apps are on the second screen, and all the scrolling apps are pushed to the third screen so that they are out of sight. I have muted the sound of notifications. Preferably and cut back on them as much as possible.
- Regularly delete documents and folders you don’t need from your laptop/computer. I have two kinds of folders based on topics (such as Books, Articles, Course material)and based on the calendar year. At the end of each year, I do the final filing. Any documents I don’t need gets deleted.
Photo by Norbert Levajsics on Unsplash