Month: September 2019

Routine vs Spontaneity

Neera 1 Comment

I have just come back from a four-day trip to Melbourne. Prior to the trip, I spent days doing things for the blog to run smoothly. Before I left, I spent the morning packing my laptop and the whole kit and caboodle to be fully productive during the short break.

I did nothing of the sort.

Instead, I caught up with friends, ate lavish meals and talked non-stop.

The occasion was a friend’s 70th birthday. All of our friends were there and we had a ball celebrating life. Even rain and terrible winds didn’t stop us from merrymaking.

On Saturday morning, we went for a walk to the Organ Pipes (a million-year-old rock formation on the north-west of Melbourne formed by cooling and cracking volcanic lava).

On Sunday we did absolutely nothing other than eating, talking and viewing holiday photographs.

Organ Pipes at Organ Pipes National Park

After months of being a prisoner of self-imposed routine as a blogger, I had so much fun that the rebel in me said, “That’s it. No more schedules. Just do what you feel like. Be spontaneous rather than regimented.”

Believe me when I say I was tempted.

Lying in the bed in the half-asleep-half-awake state I was ready to throw out of the window, the routines and rituals, which took me months to establish and cement when the first routine kicked in.

For the past few weeks, I have been following a morning routine which has made my mornings extra special. As per this routine, the first thing I do as soon as I wake up is – meditation.

So I decided to ponder on it during the meditation.

Routine or spontaneity, that is the question.

Routines are excellent if you want to do something on a consistent basis, one of the best ways to manage day-to-day stress. A daily routine creates comfort and provides a mindless and stress-free way to conquer daily tasks with as little energy and effort as possible. A routine allows you to: accomplish more, have better mental health, help better manage time, break bad habits, choose how your day progresses and stop procrastination.

Spontaneity, on the other hand, is like romance, unpredictable but exciting. It adds pizzaz to life, making it interesting. It helps you think outside the box, find new connections and unique solutions.

There seem to be people who enjoy and thrive on routines and others who prefer to be spontaneous. I am like a pendulum who swings from one end to another.

I like routines and I am quite disciplined to follow them but the lure of spontaneity is too much for me to resist. After some time every routine becomes too monotonous for me and I become restless. I feel like an animal trapped in a cage and want to break free. On these days, no amount of security created by routine soothes my spirit; an escape is the only thing that will work.

That may be the case with all creative souls. After all, they say:

So the answer that revealed itself during the meditation was – build spontaneity in your routine, and when the spontaneity calls don’t worry about breaking the routines. Because it means I am on the verge of a breakthrough.

Did you notice the change on my site display? It is in response to one such call of spontaneity.

I will leave that story for another day.

Five rules to overcome self-doubt

Neera 2 Comments

I have often bemoaned over the writer’s self-doubt.

Why, of all the other vocations in the world, writers suffer from self-doubt the most?

It is not because we toil at our craft any less than other artists. Why is it then we feel so inadequate, frivolous, phony, and unaccomplished? Why do we feel our ideas are insignificant, our vocabulary limited, our expression plain?

No writer, it doesn’t matter how many books he has written, has ever reported fully getting rid of it.

Stephen King wrote in On Writing:

I have spent a good many years—too many, I think—being ashamed about what I write. I kept hearing Miss Hisler asking why I wanted to waste my talent, why I wanted to waste my time, why I wanted to write junk. I think I was forty before I realised that almost every writer of fiction and poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent.

Neil Gaiman talked about it in Commencement Speech at the University of the Arts Class of 2012

The problems of success can be harder because nobody warns you about them.

The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something, and that any moment now, they will discover you. It’s Impostor Syndrome—something my wife Amanda christened the Fraud Police.

In my case, I was convinced that there would be a knock on the door, and a man with a clipboard (I don’t know why he carried a clipboard, in my head, but he did) would be there to tell me it was all over, and they had caught up with me, and now I would have to go and get a real job, one that didn’t consist of making things up and writing them down, and reading books I wanted to read. And then I would go away quietly and get the kind of job where you don’t get to make things up anymore.

Steven Pressfield wrote about it in his excellent book The War of Art:

The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.

Virginia Woolf captured the anguishing self-doubt with which all writers tussle with in her novel, Orlando: A Biography :

Anyone moderately familiar with the rigours of composition will not need to be told the story in detail; how he wrote and it seemed good; read and it seemed vile; corrected and tore up; cut out; put in; was in ecstasy; in despair; had his good nights and bad mornings; snatched at ideas and lost them; saw his book plain before him and it vanished; acted people’s parts as he ate; mouthed them as he walked; now cried; now laughed; vacillated between this style and that; now preferred the heroic and pompous; next the plain and simple; now the vales of Tempe; then the fields of Kent or Cornwall; and could not decide whether he was the divinest genius or the greatest fool in the world.

Self-doubt is the worst enemy of writers, a familiar state for all those who put pieces of their inner lives into the outside world.

Determination allows for doubt and for humility — both of which are critical.

Anna Deavere Smith in Letters to a Young Artist

We writers need to learn to live with self-doubt rather than to play hide and seek with it. We ought to embrace it and find ways to work with it.

I have developed five rules to write with confidence and joy even when self-doubt is holding me back.

1. Concentrate On The Verb Rule

The word ‘writer‘ is tricky. It is both a noun and a verb. Most of the time, we get stuck with the noun and forget the verb. The fact is that it is the verb that matters the most. If you can concentrate on the verb, the noun will materialize by itself.

Also, don’t mix up the word ‘writer’ with the words ‘author.’ A writer is someone who writes; an author is someone who has published something. Think of yourself as a ‘writer,’ not as an ‘author.’ It is the former that will make you the latter.

Writing is finally about one thing: going into a room alone and doing it.

— William Goldman

2. Retire The Judge rule

The judge is the inner critic that resides in you. He comes uninvited to critique your work and always finds faults in it. Even if others are raving about how good your work is, he will negate them and pinpoint the faults. He has been working all his life, tirelessly giving judgments. It is time he retires. The way to retire him is to buy him a gold watch for his services and send him home to play with his grandchildren.

In the meantime, you double and triple your writing efforts. If you are writing once a month, write once a week; if you are writing once a week, write once a day. The more often you write, the less daunting it becomes. The prolific writing is the only way to outperform the overworking inner critic.

Bad writers tend to have the self-confidence, while the good ones tend to have self-doubt.

– Charles Bukowski

3. Get it done rule

Elizabeth Gilbert gave the famous words in her book The Big Magic, “done is better than good.”

If you keep on waiting for it to be perfect, it will never be done. If it is 80% there, it is good enough.

No book or story, or article is ever finished. You stop working on it.

So give it your best for the day and let it go to the universe. If it is good, it will survive. If not, it will meet its fate. Meanwhile, you are free to write another one.

4. The Pimple Rule

This one is borrowed from Jon Bard of Write it Done. She named it after the best advice she received as a spotty teenager — “No one cares about your pimples because they’re too busy worrying about their own.”

She writes:

It’s so true in every aspect of life.  We think that people are out there ready to pounce when, in reality, they’re more terrified of being pounced upon.

We’ve met some big-time writers who tell us that even as they prepare to publish their fiftieth book or collect another prize, they still have a voice inside that wonders when everyone will catch on to the fact that they’re frauds.  Yep, that little nagging “you don’t deserve it” voice never goes away, even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

If you view the outside world as a place filled with vultures ready to swoop down and pick at your bones, it’s time to rethink things.  The truth is this – all those scary would-be haters are too busy scanning the skies for vultures of their own to bother with you.

5. Nothing is original Rule

One thing that self-doubt instills in us that our work is not original. That we are copying and imitating what we are reading from others.

Tell your self-doubt that there is nothing original. Everything that has been created so far in this universe is from some inspiration from something else that existed before it. Imitation and copying are part of the learning process.

Take the pressure off you by not trying to be original and learn from your idols. Even they learned by imitating and copying their idols. Neil Gaiman, an English author of fiction and nonfiction, said in his commencement speech at the University of the Arts, to the class of 2012.

When you are at it, making your art, doing the stuff that only you can do, the urge to copy will start to emerge. That is not a bad thing.

Most of us find our voices only after we have sounded a lot like other people.

But the one thing that you have that nobody else has is you.

Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision.

So write and draw, and build and play, and dance and live like only you can.

The moment when you feel, that just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists inside you, showing too much of yourself, that is the moment you start to get it right.

You can listen to his full talk in the video below.

In summary

Don’t let doubt ruin your passion.

Have faith in yourself and your abilities.

All writers struggle with self-doubt, even the established ones. But they all learn to mange it.

Follow the five rules overcome your self-doubt.

  1. Concentrate on the verb, not the noun of writing.
  2. Retire the inner critic.
  3. Done is better than good.
  4. No one cares about your pimples because they’re too busy worrying about their own.
  5. Nothing is original.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

The teachers of the future

Neera

Dear Creative Souls,

Time for a heart to heart conversation.

Yesterday, some of you received my post Why I Started This Blog and it was an accident. It is a year old post and I was adding a pin to it and accidentally reposted it. But sometimes accidents are the best things that happen to us. Reading that post again reminded me of the commitment I made to myself.

In Hindu mythology, life is divided into four age-based stages. The first is called Brahmacharya, which is the first twenty-five years of one’s life which one should devote to learning. One should remain celibate during this period in order to concentrate on learning.

The second is Grihastha, the period to get married, raise a family, fulfill the duties of maintaining a home, educating one’s children, and leading a family and religion centered social life.

The third is Vanaprastha which starts when a person hands over household responsibilities to the next generation and takes an advisory role. It is considered the time to give back to the community and the universe in lieu of all that that one has taken from it.

The fourth is Sannyasa, which is marked by the renunciation of material desires and prejudices and leading a spiritual, peaceful, and simple life.

According to this philosophy, I am in the third stage of my life and I am surprised at the urge I have to give back to the universe. During my life one thing I have taken most from this universe is the knowledge. And it is what I want to give back to the universe too. The knowledge I have gained so far and the knowledge I continue to gain.

This website is my platform to be able to do that. Writing is my medium and studying creativity is my passion. I am sharing as I am learning.

I am not a ‘guru’ in any field, just a ‘forever student.’ But sometimes students are the best teachers because they can teach at a beginner level. It is very difficult for experts to bring themselves down to the level of their students because their minds have expanded to a much higher level.

Whereas, ‘student teachers‘ are at the beginning level. They have learned something recently and know extactly how to communicate that. They know where the pitfalls are and what to do when the going gets tough. Because they have just gone through that themselves. And they share their learnings with the enthusiasm of a novice. This is where I stand. A really ‘excited’ novice.

When I thought about sharing these thoughts with you this morning I was hesitating. Will I be making myself vulnerable? Shouldn’t I be establishing myself as an authority on ‘creativity’ and ‘writing’ if I am writing about these topics constantly on my blog?

Call it serendipity when today morning, I came across a video by Tony Robbins where he and Dean Graziosi talk about how the face of teaching is going to change in the next twenty-five years. That there will be more and more of ‘student-teachers’ sharing their knowledge as more people prefer to learn from them rather than an expert.

I found it to be true from my own experience. I follow a lot of blogs and listen to a number of videos where people like me, have learned a skill and share how they learned it. I want to know their process and want to figure out how can I use it to learn it myself.

The experts talk from a different level, and I feel I can’t reach their level. But a beginner talks to me in my language and give me hope that I can reach there too. She shares her mistakes and warns me against the pitfalls. I love her for her honesty. And I trust her more than the expert. Nothing against the expert but he is too far above in the sky.

Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi shared that Forbes is predicting that the knowledge industry which is currently 355-million-dollars-a-day industry and is going to be a billion-dollar-a-day industry by 2025. And the ‘student-teachers are going to be at the forefront of it because the current model of classroom learning is outdated. I have linked the video below in case you are interested in viewing it.

https://youtu.be/WMFmMAkujUE

I wanted to share another thing. Earlier in the post, I mentioned I was adding a pin to my post Why I Started This Blog when I accidentally reposted it. There is a story behind it.

A few days ago I came up with this idea to make a visual aid to share the creativity and writing tips I have been writing about in my posts. I was becoming increasingly aware that the key messages are getting lost in lots of text. So I decided to make ‘pins’ of the ‘tips’ and share them on Pinterest. I also decided to sprinkle them in the previous posts as a ‘take-home’ message. This is what I was doing with the first pin I created of the series when Why I Started This Blog got accidentally reposted. Now I think it is not such a bad idea and perhaps I should repost some of the posts as I include pins in them.

Here is my first Unleash Your Creativity Tip #1:

Pint them to your Pinterest board and to collect them all subscribe to my email list below.

So you want to quit your job

Neera 1 Comment

For some time I have been writing about how I quit my job and made the transition from competitive to the creative life. It might sound like; I walked to my boss’s office, handed in my resignation and stormed out never to come back. That is not true.

I didn’t quit my job on a whim and then sat at home twiddling my thumbs thinking ‘what next?’ I planned it and gave myself two years to transition from a competitive to a creative life.

The transition was not easy. While planning on my own, I wasn’t sure whether I was covering all the grounds. Imagine my surprise when I found out that there is a ‘coach’ out there who specializes in helping people ‘quit’ their jobs.

I found Blaire Palmer who runs a website A Brilliant Gamble and coaching business after I had already quit my job and established my business. But Blaire has more than twenty years of experience helping people to do just the same.

Many of my readers want to get out of their jobs to lead lives inspired by their creativity but find it too hard to break the cycle.

I decided to ask Blaire how she did it and how she advises her clients to do it. Below are her responses.

Would you please let us know about your own journey from competitive to a creative life?

I was a BBC Journalist for a decade before starting my coaching business in 2000. Having said that, as a student I’d been a volunteer for a student counseling service called Nightline. We were trained by The Samaritans in non-judgemental, non-directive questioning to access the wisdom of the other person so coaching was kind of in my blood from a young age.

But when at the age of 29 I read a newspaper article about the new profession of coaching, I realized that it was perfect for me. I got a coach (the one from the newspaper piece) and started planning my exit from the BBC.

Having trained with Coach U I grew my business to nearly seven figures before having another change of priorities and deciding to reduce the size of the business and get back to my roots – coaching and speaking rather than running a business where other people in my team got to do the work I loved while I spent hours on budgets, salary negotiations and trying to pay the bills! 

When you decided to make the transition from competitive (job) to creative (leadership coach) life, what planning you did? How long it took you to make the transition?

I decided to become a coach about a year before I actually left my job. I had done some coaching first to ensure it was the right choice for me and then began my training about 3 months later. I started working with non-paying clients first just to get some experience but quickly felt like I was adding value so I started charging.

After 6 months I had 6 clients, paying me the equivalent of half of my BBC salary, that I was working within the evenings and weekends. I’d been saving that money to build a financial runway so that I had a bit of money to live on once I left my job and then felt confident it was time to leave. I couldn’t take on more clients AND keep my full-time job.

It took another 3 months to get all the pieces in place (I tried to negotiate to go part-time or taking a sabbatical but my organization wouldn’t agree) so I handed in my notice in the August of the year and was sitting at my desk, at home, thinking ‘What now?” by the September. 

What are the main key areas to plan during the transition to lead a creative life?

The money! That is critical. It can take a year or more to get your business off the ground. And even then you’ll have bad months. Lack of cash flow kills businesses even if you’ve got a healthy pipeline and you don’t want to pressure clients to work with you before they are ready just because you need their money. So get some savings in place, cut your outgoings if you can, have a backup plan if things don’t work as quickly as you hoped. 

Test out your business model. You might know what you’d love to do instead and think that other people would be willing to pay for it. But you won’t know for sure until you try. Start your new venture as a side hustle and see if you can get customers or clients to part with their cash. You might have to tweak your idea or think again until you find the right services and products. 

Create networks. This might be a network of people who can refer business to you, a network of your ideal clients/customers, and a network of other business people who can offer support and advice. You’ll need all three! And the earlier you start the better. Their advice and feedback will be really helpful and later you can give others the benefits of your experience. 

Financial worries are the main reason that stops people from quitting their job, what advice do you give people regarding that?

Yes, you’re taking a financial risk when you quit your job. But you’re also giving yourself the chance to earn more doing something you love.

Everyone worries about money. Some worry so much that they stick with a job or lifestyle they hate just because it’s relatively secure. For me, security isn’t as important as some other things that matter to me. I’d rather live with the insecurity than do something I don’t like and that I can’t change.

With a business of your own, if it’s not working you rethink, pivot, do some more selling, change your pricing…you have options. It suits my character better because I trust that I will be able to come up with ideas and just keep plugging away until something works.

So if security is top of your list of priorities running a business probably isn’t for you. If it’s up there but other things are more powerful for you, then you’re more likely to take the plunge.

Plus, you do become more comfortable about the insecurity the more you live with it. You’ll get more risk-tolerant with time. But it doesn’t suit everyone. 

What are the pitfalls of earning a living from your creativity one should be aware of and plan for?

While you left your job because you wanted to be more creative there’s a lot about running a business that isn’t creative at all. Budgets and finance, sales and marketing, answering emails, and dealing with customer queries…You only get to spend a small proportion of your time doing the thing that makes the money. The rest is all the other stuff that keeps the show on the road.

Someone I spoke to a few days ago who has a very successful VA (Virtual Assistant) business aid 80% of her time is marketing, creating content to promote herself and her business, handling queries. Only 20% is the actual VA work. I’d say this is pretty typical. So when you imagine your day just crocheting baby booties or coaching people or teaching the violin to kids remember that’s just a small part of running a business. 

Another pitfall can be that the thing you love turns into your business which might make it less fun. Now you’re doing it because it pays the bills. You can’t just wait for your muse to strike. You have to get yourself into the right frame of mind like it or not!

What rewards you had for making the transition to a creative life?

The biggest reward for me is the freedom to make my own choices. Having run a business for 20 years I’ve changed it many times. I’ve had to adapt to changes in the market, my life circumstances, my needs…but all of that is in my power.

I don’t have to ask permission to change the copy on my website or create a new product or take a course. I don’t have to do office politics, or presenteeism or apply for a promotion. I choose my clients as much as they choose me. I don’t think I could ever give that up!

That makes sense.

The decision to quit your job and being an entrepreneur or a solopreneur is a big one and not to be taken lightly.

It is worth reading Blaire’s post signs it is time to quit your job and getting her free Escape the Rat Race Checklist to have a handy list of tasks and questions you need to consider if you make the decision to live the life you want to live.

If you found this post helpful you might want to join my email list. I publish two to three new posts every week, to help unleash your creativity. 


Top Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash