Category: Inspirational

When Your Passion Becomes Your Obsession

Neera

There is a difference between passion and obsession.

Passion is a positive word that leads to growth, self-improvement, and perhaps one’s purpose in life; obsession, on the other hand, has a negative connotation about it, which could lead to being out of control and even mentally sick.

When you are passionate, everybody cheers you on, “Oh! you found your passion. Great! Be passionate! Follow your passion! Reach your goals! Live your dream!” People encourage you because they think you are on to something.

But when you are obsessed, they go, “Why you gotta be so crazy? Why do you spend so much time on [thing]?” Why can’t you be reasonable about it?” “You don’t have to be so preoccupied with it, it’s just a hobby (or a job, or a sport), isn’t it?”

When you are obsessed, people think you are nuts.

In life, you have a choice. You can either be passionate or obsessed.

Both choices are fine.

Being passionate about something is being in love with life.

But being obsessed with something is living life at another level.

I chose to be obsessed.

I don’t know when my passion for writing turned into an obsession.

When I started writing, I found the activity so calming and fulfilling that I became passionate about it. I dedicated time to it and strived to improve. As I became better and better at giving words to my thoughts, I started feeling good about my writing.

I could pour out all my frustrations, my negativity, my fears, my anger, my joy, and my daily happenings into my diary.

And that was when the problem began.

Something inside me changed. I craved writing all the time. I had to write every day. The day I didn’t write, was a day that didn’t exist for me.

I would rather write than attend a party or meet a friend for coffee, or go for a swim, or go for a walk.

My passion had become an obsession.

The Cambridge dictionary defines passion as an extreme interest in or wishes for doing something.

While an obsession is something that you think about all the time.

A passion is “extreme” but the aspect of time isn’t present.

An obsession stays “all the time”.

I think about writing all the time.

I work on getting better every day. I don’t rest. I can’t let it go. I am not content with my progress. I want to get better. I can’t accept the level I am at the moment. I know I could be better. I will continue to work on it until I reach the level where I want to be.

If you really want to achieve something worth achieving, you must get obsessed.

If you are not obsessed, you are not operating at your optimum potential.

If no one thinks you are crazy, you are not there yet.

You are not there yet until somebody in your life says, “Jee! you really care about this in a crazy way.” That’s when people see your obsession.

The weirder you are, the more committed you are to focus on your thing.

Obsession forces you to stay focused.

Obsession makes you keep going when others are partying, socializing, having fun, sleeping, or simply fitting in.

Obsession empowers you to find new ways to learn, to push your comfort zone, and to push yourself beyond what others or even you thought was not possible.

I love this quote from one of Bukowski’s numerous letters:

My dear,

Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.

Falsely yours,

Henry Charles Bukowski

I will rather let writing kill me than give it up for a mediocre life.

Are you passionate about something?

Is it turning into an obsession?

If You Think Your Writing In Not Original, You Need To Know About Helsinki Bus Station Theory

Neera

“The secret to a creatively fulfilling career lies in understanding the operations of Helsinki’s main bus station,” said Finnish-American photographer Arno Minkkinen, back in 2004.

Helsinki Bus Station Theory had been circulating among photographers for years before Oliver Burkeman brought it to a wider audience through an article in The Guardian.

To understand the theory, imagine this:

You are at a bus station. A big bus station that is cleaner, environmentally friendly, and inviting.

There are two dozen platforms, and from each platform, several different bus lines depart.

But for a kilometer or more, all the lines leaving from any one platform take the same route out of the city, making identical stops.

“Each bus stop represents one year in the life of a photographer,” Minkkinen declares.

You pick a direction — maybe you focus on making platinum prints of nudes — and set off.

Three stops later, you’ve got a nascent body of work. You take those three years of work on the nude to [a gallery], and the curator asks if you are familiar with the nudes of Irving Penn.

Your work looks very much like Penn’s.

Annoyed to have been following someone else’s path, you hop off the bus, grab a cab… and head straight back to the bus station, looking for another platform.

A few years later, something similar happens. This goes on all your creative life: always showing new work, always being compared to others.

What’s the answer?

It’s simple.

Stay on the bus.

Stay on the f*#king bus.

The point Minkkinen is making is when you find your work resembles someone else’s, or you’re on someone else’s bus, traveling someone else’s path, don’t go back to the bus station at the very beginning completely reinvent yourself and start from scratch. Instead, stay on the bus.

At a certain point, your path will split off into something new.

It’s the separation that makes all the difference.

Once you see the difference in your work from the work you so admire, it’s time to look for your breakthrough.

Suddenly, your work will get noticed. Now you are working more on your own, making more of the difference between your work and what influenced it.

Your vision takes off.

There are two reasons this metaphor is so compelling:

  1. It vividly illustrates a critical insight into persistence.
  2. It points out the perils of a world that obsesses with originality.

“More often than not, originality lies on the far side of unoriginality.” — Austin Kleon.

Helsinki’s theory suggests that if you pursue originality too vigorously, you’ll never reach it.

Sometimes it takes more guts to keep trudging down a pre-trodden path, to the originality beyond.

“Stay on the f*#king bus.”

Notes On Inspiration

Neera

What is Inspiration?

The Oxford dictionary defines it as:

“the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.”

Or

“a sudden brilliant or timely idea.”

Inspiration is not a skill.

It can’t be learned or mastered.

It is divine.

You could call it God, you could call it the Universe, or you could call it your super-conscious.

Once you accept that, you can learn how to tap into it.

You think you came up with a brilliant idea for that book, or for that song, or you were the genius who came up with the invention, but you did not.

You were simply the conduit.

There is a higher power, and that higher power has been whispering in your ear. She’s been telling you and pushing you and inspiring you to make that happen.

That is Inspiration.

Michael Jackson woke up at three in the morning and called his manager. “Butterflies, Butterflies.” Michael cried.

“Michael, what the hell is going on? It’s 3:00 AM,” said his manager in a sleepy voice.

“I got this idea for a song. It’s about butterflies.” said Michael, “I have got to write it.”

Exasperated, his manager said, “Michael, it is three am. Can this wait till tomorrow morning?”

“No, if I don’t write it now, Prince will.”

Inspiration comes in the form of intuition.

When you show that you have the intention to listen to it, and you’re going to start moving toward whatever is beckoning you, Inspiration removes the roadblocks.

So you don’t set goals. Your goals are not coming from society. They are not coming even from you. But they are whispered to you.

You hear whispers.

You have these little intuitive nudges you feel when you are showering or waking up in the morning. Bang! An idea for that next blog post. Or an idea for that next product. The idea for the next course. It just hits you.

This is Inspiration.

When we are inspired, we feel a deep sense of connectedness with all life and with all human beings.

With this sense of connectedness, we open up to intuition.

What is Intuition?

If you ask any high-performing CEO or any entrepreneur — how did you come up with an idea, they would say it was just my intuition. I just had this feeling in my gut.

So for many people, intuition is a sort of elusive gut thing that can’t be explained.

How did they know something?

How do you know something intuitively when no one else does?

Intuition is one of these words that gets thrown around a lot, but not many people know how to cultivate the skills to be able to hear their intuition on a daily basis.

— Emily Fletcher

And here’s the reality.

If you don’t have a daily meditation practice, it’s very hard to tell the difference between your critical mind and your intuitive mind.

Our left brain, the critical mind, is always screaming at us.

And it’s very hard to hear your intuition or your critical mind screaming at you.

Because your intuition doesn’t scream. It whispers.

But if you are tuned in, as you do during meditation, you can hear your intuition.

This intuition gives us inspiration.

And inspiration leads us to our intention.

And when we start following through on an inspired idea, luck comes to our side. Inspiration clears the way for us.

But we got to be listening. Our antenna needs to be attuned to hear the whispers. Whispers can come in any form. As an idea in the shower, or a nudge in a seminar, or as a YouTube video.

You never know.

You got to be ready.

When we are constantly going, I suck, I suck, I suck. Why I don’t have 1000 subscribers still? Why am I making no money? Why is my book not a bestseller? We can’t listen to the universe’s whispers. We are too busy listening to the chatter in our own heads.

Meditation is how you tap into intuition.

And so what meditation does is that it starts taking our right brain to the gym every single day.

Your right brain is the piece of you that is in-charge of intuition.

Think about intuition and creativity as a Wi-Fi network, and our right brain is the router. Our right brain is the piece of us that allows us to connect to the collective intelligence of the left brain is the actual computer. Right.

You could have the fanciest computer, you could have the most developed intellect, and you could have such an incredible life experience. But imagine how much good a computer is going to do you just sitting there not connected to the internet.

Now, imagine you connect that computer to the internet. How much smarter it becomes. How much more capable does it become because you’re exchanging ideas? You’re able to sense other people’s desires. You’re able to hear how nature actually wants to use you to deliver your fulfillment.

You could be naïve enough to think “writing” is the purpose of your life, but it may not be so. The universe might have something completely different for you and writing is just a medium.

The universe will reveal your purpose to you when it’s ready. And when it thinks you’re ready.

You got to learn to accept it.

And you got to learn to wait. To keep your antennas attuned to the universe so that you could hear its whispers.

The universe doesn’t shout. Neither does it issue job descriptions or duty statements. It whispers. It says, write that book. Start that business. Here is the melody. And you need to be attuned to it to hear those whispers.

Recap

There is a bigger, never-ending source from where all creativity comes from.

We all could tap into this resource.

This resource is Inspiration.

Inspiration speaks to us in whispers.

We need to be tuned to it to be able to hear it.

You do that through meditation.

Those who hear it regularly call it intuition.

This inspiration gives us the intention to create.

And when we accept its invitation, it clears the way for us.

Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

We have the extraordinary ability to evolve emotionally, mentally, and spiritually throughout life, taking on new ideas, thoughts, philosophies, and ways of being and living.

Notes On ‘The State Of Being’

Neera

Last week, in My Commonplace Book, I wrote Notes On Four Levels Of Consciousness, a concept I learned from Vishan Lakhiani’s book “The Code of Extraordinary Mind.”

This week I want to continue with it.

Just to recap:

First Level Of Consciousness

At the first level of consciousness, we are a part of the Culturescape. Our goals are given to us by the society and the culture that we are part of. “Get good grades.” “Get a good job.” “Become a doctor.” “Make a lot of money and live comfortably.” “Invest, build a portfolio.”

As we are achieving those goals, at some point, we question society’s norms. We question other people’s expectations of us, whether they are our parents or spouses or bosses.

We question religion. And we realize we don’t have to follow what we have been told all our lives and that we can choose our own experiences in life.

That is when we move to the second level of consciousness.

Second Level Of Consciousness

At level two, we look for a purpose for life, a way to contribute to this universe. This is when our goals come from inside us.

Third Level Of Consciousness

At level three, we discover we are a part of a greater whole. We see everyone else as part of us.

We begin to see things differently, act differently, and react differently. We experience ourselves in a brand new way, a way that can change our lives forever.

We start re-coding ourselves, and we find ourselves at the fourth level of consciousness.

Fourth Level Of Consciousness

Everything changes at level four. When we work from the fourth level of consciousness, our goals come from a completely different place.

They come from a higher source called — the Inspiration.

Some call it God, or Universe, or Supreme Being, or Higher Power.

But when we realize we are much more than just a body, Inspiration becomes our unlimited source of creation.

We become a part of the ‘whole.’

When we feel connected to every living being and become a part of the universe, Inspiration starts whispering to us.

It talks to us in the form of intuition.

When you get an idea of a book in the shower or a theory in the bathtub, or a complete melody in a dream, it is not you; it is the Inspiration talking to you.

You need to make sure you’re tuned in when Inspiration whispers because if you are not, it will go to someone else.

And if it finds you listening and up to the challenge, it will give you the Intention (courage to act)

It will remove all the roadblocks.

That is the state you want to be in as creator.

I have covered these concepts in my previous two articles.

Everything Changes When You Start Working From The Fourth Level of Consciousness

How To Make Sure You Listen To Inspiration When It Whispers

There is a connection between the concept of ‘Being’ and the concept of ‘Four Levels of Consciousness.’

What Is The Concept Of Being?

In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle talks about a concept called ‘Being.’

There is an eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad of forms of life that are subject to birth and death. Many people use the word God to describe it; I often call it Being. — Eckhart Tolle

‘Being’ explains nothing.

Nor does the word God.

According to Eckhart, ‘Being’ has an advantage over the concept of God. ‘Being’ is an open concept.

It is open because it does not reduce the infinite to a finite entity.

God has been given several forms already. Each religion has given it some symbol, shape, or image. In many mythologies, God looks like humans.

But it is impossible to form a mental image of ‘Being’ because ‘Being’ is not a noun but a verb.

So what is ‘Being?’

According to Eckhart, ‘Being’ is your very presence. It is your true nature. Your own deepest self.

It is accessible to you all the time.

It is accessible to you now as a feeling of your own presence.

Which is only a small step from the word ‘being’ to the experience of ‘Being.’

It is a hard concept to understand.

If you try to understand it with your logical mind, you may not.

If you try to give it a form, you will not be able to.

Because ‘Being’ can’t be seen, it can only be felt.

That too, when your mind is still, and your intention is fully in the present.

‘Being’ is not only deep within but also beyond. It is in every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence.

‘Being’ is also the pathway to gaining enlightenment. Enlightenment is not some superhuman accomplishment. It is simply your natural state of oneness with ‘Being.’

To regain awareness of BEING and abide in that state of feeling-realization, is enlightenment. — Eckhart Tolle

So ‘Being’ is a state of connectedness with something big. Something that is essentially you, and yet it is much greater than you.

It is you. Your true nature, beyond the name and form.

So what is the connection between the concept of ‘Being’ and the concept of ‘Four Levels of Consciousness.’

At the fourth level of consciousness, when we feel connected to every living being and become a part of the universe, Inspiration whispers to us.

So when we are in the state of ‘Being,’ we are connected to the Inspiration.

Eckhart says it this way.

When your consciousness

is directed outwards, mind and world arise.

When it is directed inwards,

it realizes its own Source

and returns home into the Unmanifested.

In this state of inner connectedness, you are much more alert, more awake, and fully present.

As you go deeper into this state of pure consciousness, you feel your own presence with such intensity and such joy that all thinking, all emotions, your physical body, as well as the whole external world, become relatively insignificant in comparison.

Yet it is not a selfish but a selfless state.

It takes you beyond what you previously thought of as “yourself.”

That presence is essentially you and at the same time inconceivably greater than you.

So Being is the higher state of consciousness, and you can reach this state by simply incorporating a practice of focusing your attention on the ‘Now.’

By feeling your very presence.

By connecting to your true nature.

By connecting to your own deepest self.

By connecting to the universe.

A commonplace book is basically a scrapbook where you collect things that fascinate you. It could be quotes, proverbs, poems, letters, recipes or anything. I have several such scrapbooks.

Recently I realised there is so much good stuff lying in my bottom drawer.

I was looking for a way to share my commonplace book.

I was thinking of publishing it in book form. And then I realised a Medium publication would even be a better idea.

Notes On Four Levels Of Consciousness

Neera

In 1968, Alan Watts, a British writer, speaker, and Zen master, appeared on CBS with a group of students to teach a unique zen philosophy.

He asked the students three questions:

  • Who am I?
  • What do I desire?
  • What do I know?

The three questions sound simple enough, but they go very deep.

According to Alan, if you ponder these questions long enough, they will unlock many new meanings in your life.

Your answers to these questions depend on what state of consciousness you are in.

Vishan Lakhiani, a writer and CEO of Mindvalley, explains in his book “Code of Evolution” four levels of consciousness.

At each level of consciousness, you react and shape the world in different ways. — Vishan Lakniani

Level 1 — Culturescape

Culturescape is the tangled web of rituals and beliefs, and ideas that come from the culture. Whether we live in a tribe in a developing part of the world or in modern tribes such as a corporation, all of us are part of Culturescape.

We believe in what our parents, teachers, priests, politicians, media, advertisements, authors, books, and thought leaders tell us. But we don’t see it just like fish swimming in water.

The rules by which each tribe lives do not apply to everybody, but they apply to that tribe. The problem with Culturescape is that it feels real. We become a victim.

At this level world happens to us. We suffer breakups, business failure, being hospitalized, book launch failure, newsletter failure, not-being-able-to-build-a-subscriber-base failure. You get the point.

A vast majority of people exist at level 1.

At this point, we give this kind of answers to Alan’s questions:

Who am I? — I am a writer. I am a three-book author. I am a bestselling author.

What do I desire? — I want to get better at writing. I want to make a living from writing. I want to write a book. I want my book to be a megaseller. I want to earn big royalties.

What do I know? — I know I am a kind person. I know God is on my side. I know if I put in 10,000 hours, I will get better at writing.

But at a certain point, people start waking up. That is when they go to level 2.

Level 2 — Awakening

At this level, people start going back to the childhood nature of questioning. They question their parent’s expectations; they question religion; they question the social- norms, and they realize they can choose their own experiences in life.

Life doesn’t happen to them, but it starts happening from them. It emerges from them. This is when they start creating their own rules.

They don’t follow society’s so-called normal professions and start following their passion. They do that because it is fulfilling. They might become a coach, or set up a business. They still identify themselves by what they do, but their desires are in line with their inner being.

At this level, they really start embracing personal growth.

When they do that enough, they go to level 3 — Recoding Yourself.

Level 3 — Recoding Yourself

This is when you realize the world is not just outside you; the world is inside you as well. And you start paying attention to your inner world. You start listening to that tiny little voice inside you.

When you start going within yourself, you start recognizing that you are more than just a physical body.

At this level, the big shift happens at question #1.

The answer to that question becomes:

I am a soul having a human experience.

Level 4 — Becoming Extraordinary

As soon as you go within, it opens you to level 4.

And level 4 is when you become extraordinary. An important shift happens that really transforms how you live your life. It puts you in 1–5% of human beings who are truly fulfilled and happy.

You realize you are so much beyond your body. “You” extend to all other human beings and all the life on the planet. “You” become a part of a great “whole.”

The more you expand your circle of compassion to other people, the greater the opportunity the universe gives you.

At level 1 our society teaches us to have goals and the goals are given to us by Culturescape. At level 2, the goals come from our souls. But when we get to level 4, the goals come from a completely different place.

According to Vishen Lakhiani, they come from Inspiration.

Call it Inspiration or God, or Universe, or Supreme Being, or Higher Power, but when we become a part of the “whole,” Inspiration leads to intention.

Inspiration leads to intention.

We might think we came up with the brilliant idea for that book or that song or that business, but we are simply a conduit.

When we say we got inspired, what we really mean is Inspiration whispered in our ear.

When someone gets an idea in a dream (John Lennon) or in the bathtub (Archimedes) it was the Inspiration whispering. And when Inspiration has your attention, and you are receptive, it clears the roadblocks and starts moving you towards it. It gives you the intention.

That is how inspiration leads you to intention.

But you got to be listening. Your antenna needs to be attuned to hear the whispers. Whispers can come in any form. As an idea in the shower, or a nudge in a seminar, or as a YouTube video. You never know.

You got to be ready.

As soon as you show you will take the nudge and act on it and you have the confidence to make it happen, luck starts being on your side.

The Inspiration doesn’t just whisper to you. It clears the way for you.

Your job is to listen.

And if you chose to ignore it, the Inspiration goes to someone else.

Four Levels of Consciousness are like a roadmap for growth.

At levels 1 and 2 we keep looking for a purpose for life, a way to make a contribution to this universe.

At level 3, we look for that purpose inside us.

Most of the time, we have no clue what that purpose is. So we pick one thing, something we like and enjoy and declare that this is the purpose of our life.

At level 4, our purpose is assigned to us by a higher power.

That is the state we want to be in.

Building Habits Is Hard—Particularly Good Habits.

Neera

Building habits is hard—particularly good habits.

How can I go to the gym every morning but can’t eat Healthy?

I have been able to nail many habits I struggled with previously, such as daily writing, morning gym, and weekly posting of the newsletter, but then there are other habits I haven’t been able to nail.

For ten years, I have been trying to reduce my sugar intake and control my weight, but I keep falling in and out of healthy eating habits.

Why?

Seems like I found the answer.

According to Gretchen Rubin, habit-building depends on how you respond to expectations. When we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. So it is crucial to understand how we respond to expectations.

There are two kinds of expectations:

  1. Outer expectations — meet work deadlines, observe traffic regulations, etc.
  2. Inner expectations — write daily, keep New Year’s resolutions, etc.

Our response to expectations determines our tendencies to build habits.

Knowing our tendency can help us set up situations in which it is more likely that we’ll achieve our aims. We can make better decisions, meet deadlines, meet our promises to ourselves, suffer less stress, and engage more deeply with others.

In the book The Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin hypothesized that to respond to expectations, just about everyone falls into one of four distinct groups:

  • Upholder
  • Questioner
  • Obliger or
  • Rebel
Image Source

Upholders

Upholders respond readily to both outer and inner expectations. They wake up and think, What is on schedule and the To-Do List for today? They want to know what is expected of them and to meet those expectations. They are self-directed and have little trouble meeting commitments, keeping resolutions, or meeting deadlines.

Questioners

Questioners question all expectations. They will meet expectations only if they believe it is justified. They wake up and think, What needs to get done today and why? They decide for themselves whether a course of action is a good idea and they resist doing anything that seems to lack sound purpose.

Obligers

Obligers respond readily to outer expectations, but struggle to meet inner expectations. They wake up and think, What must I do today? Because Obligers resist inner expectations, it’s difficult for them to self-motivate to build a habit. They depend on external accountability.

Rebels

Rebels resist all expectations and will meet an expectation only as an act of choice. They value their freedom and won’t tolerate it for anything. They wake up and think, What do I want to do today? They resist control, even self-control, and enjoy flouting rules and expectations.

You can take a quiz on Gretchen Rubin’s website to find out what is your tendency. It surely helps you know what tendency you are to figure out what measures to take to make sure you build the habit you are trying to build.

Seems like I am a rebel. I resist control. I set up routines and then break them because I get sick of them. I like waking up and asking myself What can I eat today?

It used to be the same with writing as well. I hated to stick with one niche. I wanted to write whatever I feel like. I still do. What kept me in writing and helped me develop consistency is the variety. The more varied topics I write about, the more excited I get.

I have applied the same approach to losing weight. I tried different diets. But that didn’t work. As you know, diets only want you to eat more when you come out of them. And then you gain all the weight you have lost.

I still have to find a way to build a healthy eating habits. And I think the answer lies in Identity Based Habit. I will write about it next.